One of the things I hear most often during training is, “I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing.”
People worry about using the wrong words. They worry about offending someone. They worry they’ll ask a question they shouldn’t ask.
So instead…
They say nothing.
I understand where that fear comes from. None of us wants to make someone feel uncomfortable. But over the years, I’ve realized that silence often creates a much bigger barrier than a respectful question ever could.
I’ve had people avoid eye contact because they weren’t sure how to communicate with me. I’ve watched conversations stop because no one knew what to do next. Not because people didn’t care, but because they were afraid of making a mistake.
The irony is that most Deaf people aren’t expecting perfection.
We’re expecting effort.
I’d much rather someone ask me, “What’s the best way for us to communicate?” than pretend I don’t exist because they’re worried about getting it wrong.
That’s how we learn.
Think about any other language or culture. We ask questions because we’re curious. We want to understand customs, traditions, and communication styles. We don’t expect to know everything the first time we meet someone from a different background.
Deaf culture is no different.
The best conversations I’ve had during training usually begin with someone saying, “Can I ask you something?”
That one question often opens the door to a discussion they’ve wanted to have for years. Sometimes they’re worried their question is too simple. Sometimes they think it might sound insensitive.
Instead, we have an honest conversation.
By the end of the session, they’re smiling because they realize the barrier wasn’t the question.
It was the fear of asking it.
I’ve always believed that curiosity is one of the most powerful tools we have. When it’s paired with respect, it builds understanding. It builds confidence. And it helps people move past assumptions they didn’t even realize they were carrying.
No one is born knowing about Deaf culture or accessible communication.
We learn by asking.
We learn by listening.
We learn by being willing to make mistakes and keep going.
That’s how understanding grows.
If your team has questions about Deaf culture, accessibility, or inclusive communication, I’d love to create a space where those conversations can happen openly, respectfully, and without fear.
